lets start a swedish sibling band together
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
