He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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