Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize