Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
