my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
