Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
