your parents love me but you hate me
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
