Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
