Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize