your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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