I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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