I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
