i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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