I think my vagina is haunted
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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