I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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