just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize