life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
