Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize