I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
