New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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