I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
too bad you live with your parents still
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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