bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Michael Bay diarrhea
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
