franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
