dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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