No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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