I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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