yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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