You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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