i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
