i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
