NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
