"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
