wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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