I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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