i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
