He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
