god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
