For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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