She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize