She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
