Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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