I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
