what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
