based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
