theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
