Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
