So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
