I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize