Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
