those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It's just like the Real World with babies
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Randomize
