Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
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