if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
