so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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