I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
