Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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