ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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