watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
