twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
