i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
