failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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