real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Randomize
